hippocarnival | Daybreak Academy

Daybreak Academy | Inbox

YUYA SAKAKI UN: FUNDIRECTION

STATUS: Student Grade 9

ACCOLADES: (Here is a list of leading roles Yuya's has in school theater performances over the past two years, plus a glowing review of his familiar Odd-Eyes)

BIO: Hello! You can call me Yuya. I'm from Sendai, Japan. This is my second year in Daybreak Academy. I'm a Tamer, and Odd-Eyes is my familiar. He's the big red dragon that hangs out in the courtyards. He's friendly but he tries to steal food sometimes. I speak Japanese and English but not very good French. I'm also in the theater club. I'm in Lumiere 203. Let's be friends!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

i wouldn't say that if you really wanted to meet in person

I'm at the cafeteria right now

[SHHHHH,

Also Gongenzaka is pretty sure the cafeteria is a BAD PLACE for what he wants to say! Hmm,]

I see! If I meet you in...about an hour, where would you likely be? I did not expect such a quick reply...

[He's not. THAT busy, mind. But he really doesn't think saying 'well can you leave the cafeteria' will make this a good talk. Besides, Yuuya can't possibly spend that long in the cafeteria.

...right...]

[Oh my goodness Gongenzaka.]

how about you tell me where YOU want to meet in an hour

since this is so important

[Hey!!! That was a normal thing for a person to say! He said a normal thing don't act like it wasn't!!]

The dorms is fine, I am merely working on something right now...

[Technically not a lie.]

okay

text me when you want me to come over then

[He needs to now make sure it is not dead on One Hour or that'll be weird, oh boy,]

Alright

[It's about two minutes after an hour instead.]

[Yuya doesn't even notice.

But all right, two minutes after the hour he reads Gon's text and makes his way downstairs. He knocks on the door to his room before just calling out.] Gongenzaka?

[Ah shit now he has to actually do the thing.

After taking a brief moment to steady his breath- this was so much easier when he was going over a loose outline of a plan- he goes for the door.] Mnh, Yuuya!

Ahh...come in, [he somewhat awkwardly adds, stepping aside.]

[Yuya... walks right in, looking around for anything different before he turns back to Gon.] So... what's up?

[There is...nothing different!

Well that's not entirely true, Gongenzaka seems to have a somewhat dead houseplant on his desk, and a few notes about brush techniques. For a moment actually he doesn't say anything, just rubbing the back of his head. He's certainly not blushing- the start of the issue isn't really anything he can get carried away and embarrassed by, more...sadly ashamed, given it was his own issue with speech that caused it. But!]

Before when we spoke... ...Rather, when I, the man Gongenzaka, tried to speak about crushes, and romance... I spoke of waiting, and not waiting, and many other things- things that...confused both of us, I feel. After we finished talking...it felt as if I, the man Gongenzaka, had done something wrong as well. Not with regard to upsetting you! [he quickly corrects, before grimacing,] ...though it was certainly that as well, but...

...More that what I was intending to say, and meaning to say... ...Was...Not right. Before when we spoke, I, the man Gongenzaka, held myself under the ideal that...I must know everything, before I can do it- does that make sense? [He's making sure to ask that this time, rather than just assuming, and charging forward.

It was his biggest mistake last time after all.]

[Take care of your plants Gon.

His stomach starts to sink as Gon talks, already dreading the soreness this conversation is probably going to rip into his heart again.]

I... I guess. [He wraps one arm around himself.]

[Ok. Ok...slow nod..

And that's his homework Yuuya he's going to heal it. Now.] I, the man Gongenzaka, had told myself that I could not be good enough for more than what we had done before- that the things you yourself no doubt wish to do, were things I could not do without already knowing those things.

And that sort of thing... ...That is impossible, after all. So...

...I, the man Gongenzaka, understand...if the answer is no, but...

[He swallows, doing everything he can to remain calm as he looks to Yuuya.] I, the man Gongenzaka, would like to try those things- to try dates, in the way you had wanted, and thought about, with the things that you feel would make it a date...even if I have never experienced them before! I, the man Gongenzaka...

...How can I know after all, if I do not try?

[Yuya averts his gaze while Gongenzaka steadies his. He chews on his lip, regretting how he must look but unable to compose himself more than this. Did the way things end bother him. Had Yuya been too raw about his feelings? HE thought things were going to settle back exactly as they were.]

I... [Should be happy that Gongenzaka wants to try. Right?]

I don't think I'm a good choice for your boyfriend.

Mnh-

Y...

You do not feel yourself the best choice..?

[This is actually, somehow, NOT what he even once imagined the answer to be! A rejection, sure, but...A...what?]

[Yuya bites his lip a little too hard before he stops worrying over it.]

Uh, yeah. I mean, for you--there's definitely someone better for you. [Someone more worthy of all of his good who didn't crush his heart and his happiness. Yuya's quite confident Gon could have anyone if he actually wanted to woo them.]

[.............but]

....But...I, the man Gongenzaka...feel you are the best... [WAIT FOR THAT MATTER-]

Yuuya. Why do you feel this way about yourself..?

[Does he have to explain it? Why does he have to explain it.]

I mean, I haven't even been the best friend lately, and I can't make you very happy and I hurt you and just--you should be with someone who's stronger and more responsible! You could have that, you know, like a really cute and smart girlfriend.

[His fingers dig into his arm, gaze set firmly on the floor.] And how can you really be sure I'm the best? Because like you said, we've never...

...Yuuya...

...Yuuya, if that is what you think...no- I, the man Gongenzaka, could never forgive myself, if I were to agree with such words..! Particularly not when I could say the same! I, the man Gongenzaka, have not been at all a good friend either!

I care not for a 'perfect' partner, Yuuya! ...I care about the one who makes me happiest...

[Yuya's face flushes, and when he can't stand looking up at Gongenzaka he turns around to face the other way. Like his back will shield him from the look he's getting.]

If I make you happiest, it's because you won't put yourself out enough for anyone else to.

[He is crossing his arms.] Yuuya. I, the man Gongenzaka, interact with far more people than simply yourself.

For that matter Yuuya...

[He softens, and lowers his arms.] With how you are saying these things... ...it feels as if, you yourself are attempting to convince yourself of 'what is best', when it is not the case...

It isn't like you've been sure about what's best! [Ah, he covers his mouth with his hand. He's such a coward, isn't he? This has to already be proving he won't be good.]

....

[Well.

Gongenzaka comes closer, and slowly tries to reach for the other- his hand, or his shoulder, whichever is best-] ...Then...

...If you do not know, and...I, the man Gongenzaka do not know...

...What is the shame then, in trying..?

[Yuya tenses at first when he feels Gongenzaka's hands on his shoulders.]

It... [He squeezes his eyes shut, holding in his tears.] I want you so much I'll ruin it.

[Likes he ruined him, and his scars remind both of them. How couldn't he mess it up again?]

...Yuuya...

[That's what he thinks? That he's ruined it? If anything, didn't he himself ruin this, not Yuuya?

Gently, quietly, he moves to try and hug Yuuya close- not painfully, just...

Carefully.] ...You could never ruin it. I, the man Gongenzaka, feel this in my very soul.

You could never ruin it for me.

[His back presses to Gon's front as he's pulled into the embrace. He moves to wipe his face quickly before slowly looking up at Gongenzaka.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject