Yūya Sakaki (
hippocarnival) wrote2019-01-08 08:52 am
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Daybreak Academy | Inbox

STATUS: Student Grade 9
ACCOLADES: (Here is a list of leading roles Yuya's has in school theater performances over the past two years, plus a glowing review of his familiar Odd-Eyes)
BIO: Hello! You can call me Yuya. I'm from Sendai, Japan. This is my second year in Daybreak Academy. I'm a Tamer, and Odd-Eyes is my familiar. He's the big red dragon that hangs out in the courtyards. He's friendly but he tries to steal food sometimes. I speak Japanese and English but not very good French. I'm also in the theater club. I'm in Lumiere 203. Let's be friends!
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For that matter Yuuya...
[He softens, and lowers his arms.] With how you are saying these things... ...it feels as if, you yourself are attempting to convince yourself of 'what is best', when it is not the case...
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[Well.
Gongenzaka comes closer, and slowly tries to reach for the other- his hand, or his shoulder, whichever is best-] ...Then...
...If you do not know, and...I, the man Gongenzaka do not know...
...What is the shame then, in trying..?
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It... [He squeezes his eyes shut, holding in his tears.] I want you so much I'll ruin it.
[Likes he ruined him, and his scars remind both of them. How couldn't he mess it up again?]
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[That's what he thinks? That he's ruined it? If anything, didn't he himself ruin this, not Yuuya?
Gently, quietly, he moves to try and hug Yuuya close- not painfully, just...
Carefully.] ...You could never ruin it. I, the man Gongenzaka, feel this in my very soul.
You could never ruin it for me.
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And Gongenzaka gently manages a light kiss to the top of Yuuya's head. Though given Yuuya was moving his head at the time, it might not quite be the top of the other's head.
He may have shut his eyes.]
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He doesn't want to ruin this. But he will, and if he will he should get it out of the way now. So Yuya squirms in Gon's hold, grabbing his collar as he turns to face him and yanks him down further as Yuya leans up and crashes their lips together, rough and clumsy and with little room for argument.]
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[Yuuya that's not how most people do this. Also-] Mnh...
[It takes a second before Gongenzaka especially moves. But when he does move, it's to bring a hand to his lips as the 'kiss' is broken.
His finger tips come back red.] Y-Yuuya... I, the man Gongenzaka, understand that I was surprised by your request at prom but...
There was not quite that much need to ensure we try it this time...
[Yuuya you've cut his lip. Why,]
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I'm sorry. [He pushes away, then, forcing himself out of Gon's arms and rushing for the door.]
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[You know what this is against better judgement, but he's going for the door too-
To block it.] Yuuya..!
...If ruining it is what you fear, then fear no longer..! For this is not ruining, Yuuya..!
[And please, hear him out on that. In fact... He points to the withered flower on his desk.] Look- do you see the plant, there?
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He does not look at the plant.] What?
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And simply because we made a mistake just now, and simply because my lip is cut, you think it is ruined! I, the man Gongenzaka, am telling you now that it is far from ruined!
Can you determine why?
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I just, I can't, it won't be good! [He gestures wildly.] I'll always be like this!
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Just as I, the man Gongenzaka said earlier, we cannot know what we have not tried- but more importantly...
...it will be impossible, to do anything without mistakes. The important part Yuuya, is to put our effort into not making them, and to pick ourselves up when they do.
...That plant over there... [Yes he's back on that boat again.]
...I was attempting to heal it, truthfully. [...oh] It is for my calligraphy class- and it is proving...more difficult than I, the man Gongenzaka expected.
...I, the man Gongenzaka, know what I wish for the result to be. But that will not happen if I allow my current failure to prevent me from trying again..!
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Our relationship isn't a plant! [It comes out in a whine and he balls his fists.] I don't want to hurt you again!
[Doesn't want to be hurt, doesn't want to be rejected and lose the first friend he had and the one he fought so hard to keep.] Stop being so calm about this!
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I am saying that you have not hurt me! Certainly not in the way you should worry for!
Yuuya..! I, the man Gongenzaka, have spent time thinking about this- about my words, and what I wanted to say..! If anything... ...Should we not perhaps help you to be calm, before you decide what is and is not hurting me?
[He touches his lip again, and frowns.] This sort of thing... ...We have never kissed before, aauh? It is only natural to make a mistake for something we have never done. And if I, the man Gongenzaka, am to make those mistakes with anyone...
It would be better, to have it be with the one for whom I wish to perfect my actions.
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He's crying before he has a chance to explain himself, a torrent of thoughts trapping him in his own head.]
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[Here- Gongenzaka is stooping toward his level, to wipe those tears away. And more than that...he has a small smile, more to reassure than anything.]
What is wrong with you wanting? If there is something I do not want at all I, the man Gongenzaka will say so- but in this case, did I not just say 'I want to try the things you wanted'? Yuuya...
...why are you so certain that I will be the one whom you hurt..?
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[The night he almost killed Yuya. He doesn't need to clarify because nothing else has ripped both of them apart as much as that did.
Yuya hasn't forgiven himself for it, either.]
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You blame...yourself for that..?
[But why...]
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And now you won't forgive yourself. Ever since then you've been obsessed with controlling yourself! Everything is about being responsible and your curse and you're always worried and afraid!
[Yuya noticed, looked for it when he realized in the hopes that he could turn it around. But he never was enough...] I can't... I can't make you happy enough to fix that. I'm sorry.
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...
Who do you think it is, who allowed me to become as happy as I am at all..?
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Yuya shakes his head.]
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Do you not think I am happy now at all..? What happened then...it is true, the consequences were grave- without a doubt, I still consider it in part my own responsibility...but Yuuya..! [His voice grows firm.] Do not mistake my actions and my dedication as a method of responding to guilt..! I, the man Gongenzaka, am taking my steps forward...
Therefore, let us help you to do the same, aauh?
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