hippocarnival | Lost Carnival

.... [Reira seems to consider a lot of what Yuuya's saying- but unfortunately, not for the reasons he'd likely hope. As far as she's concerned, people always hurt each other. And hunt each other. And scare each other. It's in different ways, with different things, but it's what people do.

It was what people did at home, certainly, and why the very idea that people could have times when that wasn't happening, was confusing for a while. That just wasn't....how it went.

She still doesn't want to go back. She's practically certain if she does, it'll be back to Himika, and without a war to fight for, she's not sure Himika would want her around.

And the fact was, Himika would have the say in that. Because Reiji wasn't the one who 'took' her. It was Himika.

But if people couldn't stay dead, that was already a vast improvement, frankly. And more than that...]

...So why aren't you going home, then? If it was because I was small, you wouldn't say niisama should go too.

But you are. So why aren't you asking to go home?

I think Reiji should go so he can be with you. [That's actually still about Reira, although he'd rather everyone got to go home.] I don't know how she'd take everyone asking to go home, if she will break any contracts, so you and Reiji are priority.

[He's trying to plan more sensibly than 'beg for everyone to go home'. And he has other friends he needs to make sure will be okay.]

The Ringmaster already completed part of my contract, so I may not even be able to break it anymore.

[Um.]

...I'm not taking back what I said about Zarc.

[Perhaps mentioning the idea that a completed contract probably couldn't be broken was a bad idea- now it just feels like you don't care about hers being completed anyway.

Which...would be fair.

But she doesn't like that.]

[Truthfully he kind of doesn't.] Would you do it if I agreed to sign another contract that does the same thing?

[He doesn't sound very enthusiastic about it, but if it'd mean Reira can go somewhere safe...]

You can't do that right now, because you're on a contract already..!

[And that aside.] You don't even care about it! [She doesn't have to go off the sound of his voice for this.] You just want me to go away!

Why can't you believe your words, when you say things will be okay in the end! I believe them!

How are people supposed to fix things, and believe in things, if you only pretend to!

[Yuya lets her yell. He doesn't become incensed himself, his usual temper snuffed out by the weight of their situation. It's really just another way he's failing, isn't he? He can't compete with the Fae. Now the carnival is doing things that antagonize them further, and their whole future feels uncertain. He told their parents they'd return, but he has to admit it's a promise that may be out of his reach.

His shoulders slump, giving up on the argument faster than he normally would.] Fine. I can't make you do anything.

[That doesn't refute anything she says, but he doesn't haveit in him for another argument right now.

She listens to Reiji. He needs to make it clear to him how much danger they're all really in right now.]

[............Ah.

She goes quiet-eyes spotted a bit with tears, and face a bit red under the rocks as she finishes shouting. It wasn't fair to her, after all- not in a 'how dare he' sense, but rather...it just wasn't Fair. To say something and expect someone to believe it, but not believe it yourself. That was lying.

...It wasn't good to lie, at least not about important things like this. But now Yuuya is upset. Crushed, really, not that it's the word he'd use. So now they're standing apart from each other, Yuuya with his shoulders slumped and head somewhat down, she herself simply looking down in guilt.

After a moment, she quietly holds her hands out-not to be held, but to instead 'flick' the air somehow before both hands are reaching in a gesture not unlike an offering.

Without even a pause, a decent sized shield is before her- too low to block Yuuya's view, but then again perhaps it wasn't meant to block at all, but rather be displayed. It shines as brilliantly as moonlight, casting a glow upon them both, and refusing to falter before her hands.]

...'m not going to let anything happen. I'm practicing, and staying safe. Because even if I know things will be okay in the end, I know I have to be careful, so that people who can fight, and do things, do it right.

...but... ...you have to try to believe yourself too, when you say 'it'll be okay'. Because if you don't believe that... ...how will you be able to be okay, after?

[Yuya holds his gaze on her shield. He doesn't say anything for one long, still moment.

Then he lets out a breath, reaching to put his hand atop her head with a slight, tilted smile. His gaze is a little clearer, if not as bright as usual.]

It's not as simple at not letting anything happen. [He's had to face that the hard way again and again. He'll always save them, no matter what, but his ability to prevent it is lacking.] That's the scary part. And I don't want you to get hurt the same way. You deserve better.

....right now, it feels like you're the one being hurt.

Even if it's not that easy though, that doesn't mean things won't happen in a way that works. You still won't say anything about how you don't believe yourself, [she adds, frowning sadly. She's not going back. That's quite final. But that said-]

...instead it feels like you don't actually think it will be okay at all. ...I asked how you would feel better, if you would feel better.

...Why won't you answer, [She asks, lowering the shield and looking up from where his hand rests upon her head.]

... I don't have a good answer for that. [About if he's okay, if they'll be okay...] I say that because I want to believe it right now, but I don't really know. That's why I want to make sure you're safe.

[The carnival is notoriously bad at being organized and planned, and Yuya isn't exactly guiltless about that. He can't keep being so careless if there's someone he should be protecting nearby. He'd rather Reira not be in the line of fire at all, but... the whole carnival isn't likely to get that choice.]

I'm trying to be a little cautious before it gets worse, okay?

If you want to believe, why can't you just believe it though?

[The shield comes down. It's sort of awkward to just hold it there. It sounds as though she's honestly confused by the matter though- shouldn't something you say be something you already believe, no matter the case? That's how it Should work, as far as she knows, but...]

You can still be careful and believe something will be okay, can't you?

Yeah, you can. [That's not where Yuya's coming from, though. Belief has to come from some sort of conviction, and Yuya doesn't have a lot of it in the carnival and the Ringmaster right now.

But he's a little too exhausted to try and debate that. Reira can keep her innocent world view--if the situation wasn't so daunting, it'd be kind of sweet how plainly she sees things.] That's what you're going to do, right? If you want to stay, then I need you to be really careful, and stay where it's safe.

.... [She's going to have to accept that he won't answer, she supposes. Or perhaps even that he doesn't know how, which is somehow worse. One could wonder if it would still be an innocent view, if seen crystal clear from her eyes- truthfully, she just feels nothing possible without belief. Believing it will be is what allows it to be- but many, many terrible things could happen as consequence.

More than likely, if she even tried to explain that, a bit of the inherent hypocrisy of saying and believing things would be fine, for a price, could come through. But as it is she hair sighs- a tired, maybe somewhat frustrated sigh. "....That's what I've been doing..." She mutters, though she says little else.

It's just... "...you're the one I'm worried about..."

Reira, you don't have to worry about me. [He pulls up a much more reassuring smile.] I appreciate it. But I'm not alone and I'm going to be careful, too.

[... More careful, anyway. This is why he isn't in charge of things.]

....I'm not worried about how dangerous things might hurt you, [she corrects.]

I'm worried about how You hurt you.

[Yuya looks confused at that.] I'm not hurting myself.

[He's not sure where she's going with that.]

[REIRA LEARNED CROSSED ARMS. It only looks cute when employed by someone this small though. No one will be getting ashamed here, probably.] ....You keep thinking about things and getting worried and upset.

....And you're not doing anything to feel better either. ....That's hurting.

... Reira, these are the Fae that hurt everyone before. They've kidnapped people. [Kidnapped Yuya's friends. It's an extremely dire situation, something he thought after the Prince would be obvious.

Of course he's worried and upset. It's no light matter to 'feel better' while people he cares about are at the mercy of the Courts. He knows they won't be kind to those in their hands now.] I'm not giving up on them, you know. But I'm really not the one in trouble here.

....That's still not what I said.

[She is crossing her arms so hard!! Why isn't this working.] You can do things to feel better without giving up. But you're only thinking if the bad things...And not just as bad things, even. Otherwise, you wouldn't be saying things like 'you should leave' or 'you should stop your contract'. ....You're...

[...She's going to come out and say it, at this point. But crossing her arms like this isn't comfortable, so those are going down while she looks down.] ...You're scared. ...You're scared like you are when people you know are in trouble...But when that happens, you get more than scared, and more than sad, [she says quietly.] You hurt too much. It's what happens with other things too. [CoughZarcCough]

...I'm not asking you to believe. ...it feels like that's too hard for you, right now.

...But you have to stop hurting you. Everything already hurts you enough. That's why I'm worried about you.

[Yuya's expression eases, although it's vague and hard to read. It's not like Reira is wrong, but she's taking Yuya's stress a lot closer to heart than he expected. He thought he was holding it in pretty well this time, but maybe not.

He closes his eyes, taking a breath to push his thoughts of the current situation aside and let his emotions settle. He doesn't want to put this onto her if it's just going to make her worry about his worry.

So he gives himself the second to push all of that down, and then looks up at her with a bright expression.] I really appreciate it, but I mean it when I say you don't have to worry about me, okay?

[He gives her shoulder a gentle squeeze before moving to get to his feet.] I'm not hurting myself like that. If I trust you to keep yourself safe, then trust me to take care of myself too.

[There is really no avoiding this, is there. She frowns- not too harshly but...She's frowning.]

....I'm not going to stop worrying about people I like, [she mutters, letting out an almost sad sigh.] ....But... ....I'll try to let you stop doing that, I guess.

....I can tell when you're doing it though, [she adds, voice as strong and firm as she can dare to make it.] Even if you smile, you can't hide feelings. ....

....So....Really, really try, this time. ...ok?

[He can't hide them, huh... it's a bit of a weird notion, given how much he used to genuinely hide his feelings behind smiles and jokes and ran away from his fear. It's not exactly that he finds himself slipping into those habits with Reira, but she's a nice kid. Whenever he wears his fear or pain a little more openly, she always seems to take it so badly.

Of course he doesn't expect a seven year old to help him cope the way he would Gongenzaka. It's just still a lesson in how much more he needs to compose himself around Reira than around the kids at You Show, to keep from burdening her with it.]

Yeah, I get it. [Yuya's voice, in contrast, is light as he gently nudges her forward again.] I'll be fine... did Reiji already go back to your trailer?

Good. ....Because I can't turn that off, and happy feelings feel nicer. [she adds, as if perhaps adding a selfish spin will make it stick more.

That said, she raises her brows.] Ah...He got carried away by Kage- like I said before, right? So, he should be there...

....unless she flew somewhere else... [She half laments, sighing. Dumb NotSparrow.]

[Yuya raises a brow in return. He's not sure how he's going to manage only being positive around Reira, but... he'll figure something out.]

Who's Kage? [He didn't really pick up on that much, although confirmation was really what he was looking for... which Reira herself evidently doesn't have.]

Well, I can take you back to your trailer and if he's not there, we'll call him.

[She will, most undoubtedly, be Very Lenient and Forgiving about that, don't worry Yuuya.

It's a very specific sort of sadness after all. And, well, talking about sparrows is a good distraction.] Kage is the little bird that Foster made live again..! He gave me it, and I named her 'Kage', after Joker helped think of names..!

....She's not a little bird right now though... ...Foster told me to send her back so he could make her strong enough to take niisama and I back here if it was dangerous...

....I think...he tried to make a griffin...? [Her tone says she's not sure, but at the very least not disgusted by it anyway.]

...why do you want to talk to niisama? [she asks, entirely unsuspecting of Yuuya's goal.]

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when u go back to check things and realize you style swapped mid tag WELP

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