hippocarnival | Daybreak Academy

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YUYA SAKAKI UN: FUNDIRECTION

STATUS: Student Grade 9

ACCOLADES: (Here is a list of leading roles Yuya's has in school theater performances over the past two years, plus a glowing review of his familiar Odd-Eyes)

BIO: Hello! You can call me Yuya. I'm from Sendai, Japan. This is my second year in Daybreak Academy. I'm a Tamer, and Odd-Eyes is my familiar. He's the big red dragon that hangs out in the courtyards. He's friendly but he tries to steal food sometimes. I speak Japanese and English but not very good French. I'm also in the theater club. I'm in Lumiere 203. Let's be friends!

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[Yuya opens his mouth, but fails to find a way to respond to that.

After a moment he steps back, opening the door further to give Hector room to enter. He bows his head.] I'm sorry for hurting you.

[Scaring him. Trying to kill him. Hector didn't start out asking for an apology, but he deserves one.]

[The apology doesn't surprise him. It does, however, give him pause. He doesn't wave it off. He might not need it himself but it does need the chance to be said. He waits a moment, then bends, giving a brief light hug and pulling away lest it bring discomfort.]

You're okay, niño. I'm not holding it to you.

[His gaze flutters up as Hector pulls him into an unexpected embrace. And it's fleeting but it's still so much, being held after everything. It's overwhelming.

He bursts into tears almost immediately, and all he can do in the face of Hector's forgiveness is stand there and weep.]

Oh, niño, niño...

[He regrets letting go. He corrects the mistake immediately, pulling Yuya back in and curving around him.]

You're okay, it's okay. I got you. It's okay...

[He cradles Yuya's head close, feeling the tears fall on himself. He holds the boy anyway, running a hand through his hair. After a while he starts to hum, unknown and unwritten songs.]

[Yuya crumples in his arms with a wail, all the agony he's held in tumbling out of him in waves.]

I-I'm sorry. 'M sorry, I didn't mean--I don't really want to--[Hurt people that way.]

[He interrupts both himself and Yuya.]

I know, niño, I know you didn't. The hunt took a lot of people. It's not always as simple as fighting things off.

I-it didn't even feel like there was anything to fight off. [And that's the most terrifying part. That he could be caught so off guard, to go with it and be so taken in that he didn't see anything strange about how he was asking.] It felt... n-normal.

Of course it did. If it hadn't felt normal, you wouldn't have done it. But you know it wasn't now, and that's why it feels so bad. It wasn't what you would do. And that's what you need to remember. You are not your instincts, but what you choose and that was not your choice.

[But it does leave a question why. He'd thought Yuya to be a mage-- just a half-mage. Maybe he thought wrong.]

[But if he has instincts to murder people, that's just as terrifying. Something's wrong inside of him, and--he knows what it is, he's so stupid to have acted like everything was fine and it was never going to be a danger.]

I don't--I don't want it to be any part of me.

[He shakes his head.]

That's not something we can always control, chamaco. We're given whatever it is we're given, and we have to go from there. It doesn't make you a worse person. Unless you'd say the same of all the others who got pulled into the hunt and I'd have to argue with you there.

Would you tell what happened, if I asked?

What... I did during the hunt? [Or where that impulse came from? Neither are going to sound good.]

You don't have to tell me that. Not unless you want to.

[He certainly didn't like talking about his time as a hollow.]

But, it does help to know where these sorts of things come from. If you're okay with that.

[He doesn't really want to talk about it--doesn't want to tell people, but it's not fair to keep everyone in the dark where they don't know the danger he's carrying around, isn't it? It helps for them to know what they're getting into, of course.

He closes his eyes, his whole body going tense.] There's a... a daemon. Inside me.

[He's still holding onto the boy. He's still hanging on, waiting, not sure what kind of response he'll get or if he'll be shoved away. He feels the tension, and then the answer comes.]

Okay.

[It's a simple response. Nothing reactionary beyond a drawn breath. And a briefly tighter hug.]

Is it hurting you? Right now or any other time?

... I don't know. [He thought it hadn't been directly, anyway, but maybe all that influence coming from it was more intentional than they thought? Maybe it's always been trying to take over, and he just never noticed because there was never a time it was strong enough.

Could it get strong enough on its own?] I was so used to it. I didn't even know it was there until--until recently.

But you're not in pain right now. Not that kind, anyway.

[And that's one thing here. It's something. Probably a lot more than Yuya realizes.]

I'm sorry. That's not really any good kind of surprise for you. But... [He draws back just a little, to look at him.] You don't need to be ashamed. It's still not your fault.

[If only he could believe that. He's known for months, at least, and while that's late enough he was used to all the ways he was influenced by Zarc... it's early enough he should have been more proactive about dealing with it. He should have expected a daemon wouldn't stay quiet so easily, despite Valvatorez's assurances.

He doesn't look up as Hector draws back.] ... Would you still say that if I'd managed to kill someone?

[It wasn't for lack of trying. Not once that whole night did Yuya question what he was doing. It wasn't until the hunter was bested and forced to take his influence away that Yuya came back to his senses. What if it hadn't come soon enough?]

[It's a good question. But he knows that fear well. It's a thought that constricts his heart in either case.]

I would have been much more careful with what I said. And things would be a lot more complicated. But, I would still say this. Look at me.

[He waits until Yuya does, squeezing a shoulder meanwhile.]

I want you to ask yourself, if it had been someone else, would you believe it to be their fault too?

[Yuya starts to open his mouth, then closes it as his shoulders sink. That's a complicated question, too.]

Depends. [He'd forgive his friends for anything, kill for them himself if that's what it took. But he wouldn't be as kind to anyone who took them from him.] But I was going to do it.

[He shakes his head.]

It doesn't matter. It wasn't your choice. And you didn't kill anyone besides. You were not the only one who lost control that night. Many of my friends were taken, a good number of them being those I would consider good people on an ordinary day. I can no more hold it against you than I would them. Even if you were a full daemon yourself, you did not choose that.

But I wanted to!

[He yanks at Hector's sleeves, trying to get him to understand.] I was going to! It was fun chasing you down, I didn't think twice that I was strangling Toki! I knew what I was doing!

[Maybe for others, they're used to this feeling. But for Yuya the thrill of murder is a terrifying new reality.]

No.

[His voice is firm. His brows furrow. He makes a note to ask after Toki, later, but not now.]

You thought you knew what you were doing. You felt like you were. But people who know what they're doing don't feel this way after. You have to understand, Yuya, there are things in this world that can and will take hold of your mind. Be that the hunt, or a curse, or like what happened to me. These things will make you believe that it's you, right up until they can't control you anymore. You are not responsible for that. The only things you can manage are how to move from there. If that's not enough proof for you, then ask yourself: do you want to hurt Toki and I now?

[Yuya is already crying again, it's terrible.] No... I don't want to hurt anyone anymore, but that daemon...

[Well, he does, and right now that's an influence buried deep in Yuya. There's no reason to trust him as long as it's there.]

[He reaches out, carefully brushing a tear off the kid's face.]

That daemon never bothered you before. You can make sure it doesn't again. I know this was terrible for you, but you can take precautions from now on. You'll know the signs and dangers and it will never surprise you like that again. You'll be able fight it off or at least warn people. You may even be able to find some other solutions.

[He presses a hand to his own sternum.]

I have a rune, right here, just for that reason. If I'm ever at risk of losing myself, I can activate it and I'll have help. I have another friend here who has promised me I will never go through something like it again and she has the magic to help it.

Because this thing is a part of you, you'll need a bit more help than just that, but that's okay. I, and all your friends I'm sure, we all want to be here for you. And the faculty has more than enough daemons who'd understand. You're still you. Just let us help, okay?

[He's not so sure it never bothered him before. The nightmares were always there--then there was the same weaknesses, the familiarity, now this. Even if it didn't, it wasn't because of anything Yuya did.

He's not in much of a place for trying to work through that conversation, though, reaching to try and wipe his face and stop sobbing. It's going slowly.]

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unpocoloco - 2019-10-09 08:14 (UTC) - Expand

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