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[hippocarnival]

YUYA SAKAKI UN: FUNDIRECTION

STATUS: Student Grade 9

ACCOLADES: (Here is a list of leading roles Yuya's has in school theater performances over the past two years, plus a glowing review of his familiar Odd-Eyes)

BIO: Hello! You can call me Yuya. I'm from Sendai, Japan. This is my second year in Daybreak Academy. I'm a Tamer, and Odd-Eyes is my familiar. He's the big red dragon that hangs out in the courtyards. He's friendly but he tries to steal food sometimes. I speak Japanese and English but not very good French. I'm also in the theater club. I'm in Lumiere 203. Let's be friends!

© TESSISAMESS

Comments

[betheman]

I-

I thought it was friend, but it was boyfriend..! [he finally spits out, holding his head in his own frustration.] The things I, the man Gongenzaka have done, and tried, I would not do them for my other friends..!

...So it is boyfriend, but how is that fair when I, the man Gongenzaka, could not realize that myself until now? When I, the man Gongenzaka, could not realize until talking to others about what it meant..!?

[WHY DID HE EVER TALK TO NANA ABOUT THIS]

[hippocarnival]

[Yuya snaps his jaw shut, face flushed deeply red as he stares wide-eyed at Gongenzaka.

Then he crumples against the wall.] I can't be your boyfriend.

[betheman]

I, the man Gongenzaka, thought that was what I was saying...

[it was sure a convoluted way of putting it]

...it...

...It is not fair to you, after all. ...not....

[....somehow he didn't see it hurting, though.] ...it is not fair at all to you, and I, the man Gongenzaka, cannot even ask you to wait until I know what would be 'more' than what I am already doing as a 'friend'.

[As what he once thought was friend. As what Yuuya thought was 'friend'.]

[hippocarnival]

[It's hurts, but not in a way that Yuya didn't expect--isn't prepared for. He always felt he wouldn't be good for Gongenzaka. Good choice, good boyfriend, any of it. His hands drop as he looks to the floor.]

Let's just... stay friends. [He purses his lips.] Just friends. Whatever you have to do to make that comfortable, I'll support that.

[How is he not supposed to wait if there's a chance that Gongenzaka is going to change his feelings? He wants him... he wishes he could want him less. But he'll just hurt Gongenzaka this way, he's certain.]

[betheman]

....A...Aah.

[....] And...

...you? [Immediately he stiffens, realizing the pressure of those words.] I...

...if you will still be happy...

[hippocarnival]

I told you, I won't stop treating you like a friend. That's how I treat my best friends, you know? [He looks up, forcing a smile.] Because you're all so important to me. I won't take that away.

[But that's all it was. Friendship. Yuya was so careful to distance his feelings, to not let them color the way he treated Gon because he never wanted to scare him away. Never wanted to get rejected.

He's not sure how to feel about the fact that it might be something more strictly romantic to Gongenzaka.]

[betheman]

[Silence.

Gongenzaka is silence, as if sensing the disappointment in the air. And even though he can't, even though he's been plenty oblivious to some of Yuuya's worst moments in the past...

...

What can he say that will not worsen this, he thinks to himself, slowly nodding.

There is nothing.]

[hippocarnival]

[He hates this. Hates that look on Gon's face. He needs to--fix this, somehow.

He takes a few steps forward, looking up at Gongenzaka from their massive height difference.] Hey. You're a really great guy. And you're going to find someone that makes you feel special and that really thinks the same way you do, okay? You could even still find them at this school. And it's not going to feel like this.

[Awkward. Uncomfortable. Misaligned.]

[betheman]

[..............It doesn't feel like that though. And for him, the most important thing...the strongest constant he ever had...

...

(He said they could be friends, and that friends could still do the things he was doing before, but what if him doing that Now makes it awkward now.)

His hands shake, and hesitantly he reaches his arms forward- and somehow despite knowing he isn't going anywhere, it feels more like a 'goodbye'.]

[hippocarnival]

[Yuya sinks into the embrace, putting an arm as best around Gongenzaka as he can. It's fine, he figured somehow it would be like this. The more Gongenzaka tried to explain it, the more certain Yuya felt that he would never be good for him.

He loves him so much it makes him sick, sometimes, but he could never forgive truly breaking Gongenazka's heart by failing as his boyfriend.]