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[hippocarnival]

YUYA SAKAKI UN: FUNDIRECTION

STATUS: Student Grade 9

ACCOLADES: (Here is a list of leading roles Yuya's has in school theater performances over the past two years, plus a glowing review of his familiar Odd-Eyes)

BIO: Hello! You can call me Yuya. I'm from Sendai, Japan. This is my second year in Daybreak Academy. I'm a Tamer, and Odd-Eyes is my familiar. He's the big red dragon that hangs out in the courtyards. He's friendly but he tries to steal food sometimes. I speak Japanese and English but not very good French. I'm also in the theater club. I'm in Lumiere 203. Let's be friends!

© TESSISAMESS

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[hippocarnival]

[It's different when it's his monster.

Yuya's expression slips a little at the explanation. He had been dodging around the topic, because he wasn't sure if Shuuya had seen any evidence of the truth.]

He's... he's not a doppelganger. But he is Kano, too. [Yuya looks sideways, then back at Kano. He can't tell if pretending or the truth or better at all, but if Shuuya's already seen hints.]

It's the same thing for everyone else you've seen too, the kids with really similar older siblings.

[suddenlybees]

[ He's seen the truth and he wants to deny it, because the truth is ugly and hateful and he doesn't want it to be that he grows up, and hates himself to the point of wanting to get rid of him. It hurts because he understands why, and he can so clearly imagine himself doing exactly what Kano did, but at the same time, it's hateful. ] That's what a doppelgänger is. A monster with the same face. [ And Kano is a monster. ] How come you don't have one?

[hippocarnival]

[Yuya shrugs.] I haven't heard anything about what's going on. Maybe I'm too childish by myself.

[He grins, briefly, before his expression shifts to concern.] Shuuya, did something happen?

[suddenlybees]

[ He'd like to believe that, but the change in tone has Shuuya glancing down, self-conscious and a bit embarrassed— shame, he thinks, is what's making his stomach knot up and feel like rocks, because admitting there's something he doesn't understand and needs help with is about the last thing he wants to do. The denial is right on the tip of his tongue, the urge to shake his head and smile and say "no, nothing!" But at the same time, for the first time in his life, he has somebody to talk to. ] The monster with my face... he said, "If you leave this building, I will kill you." I'm scared. I want to go home to my mother.

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[He said what.]

He definitely won't because I'll kick his ass. [And because he's missing, wished himself away but Yuya can't cry about that in front of Shuuya so he's just! Going to make jokes instead!!

His heart hurts.]

[suddenlybees]

[ Kano said exactly that, but whether or not he meant it as a joke doesn't matter, because he knew Shuuya would take it seriously and it's an easy way of keeping the boy contained inside the dorms without getting into any trouble outside. But even when Yuya jokes about it, Shuuya flinches internally at the image of Yuya hurting somebody else- even somebody like Kano who more than deserves it- because the pain of being hit and kicked is something still very real and raw to him, and he reaches to tug at Yuya's sleeve and shake his head. ] You don't have to do that! I think- if you just yell at him, that'll be enough! Sometimes, being yelled at hurts more, knowing the other person is really really mad.

[hippocarnival]

[Yuya's expression eases, and he belatedly remembers not to swear in front of the kid. It's impossible for him to cling to his fake anger when Shuuya immediately talks him down from it, dip instead of running with the facade he starts to crumple with misery.]

Sorry. [A smile twitches, briefly, and then he slowly lowers to his knees.] I
You don't deserve being told something like that, but... I don't think Kano really meant to do it. He's hurt the same way you are. He's my friend, though, and Kano and Shuuya however they are are important to me.

[suddenlybees]

[ If Kano had been hurt the same way he had been, he must have lived through all the same things too- watching his mother die in front of him, feeling weak and powerless and... somehow, he had grown up to become callous and hateful. It's that thought that scares him, of becoming somebody mean, hateful, and hated. What happened... How could somebody like that still make a friend like Yuya? He doesn't get it. ] If it was a joke, it was a bad one. [ he mumbles, because it really really wasn't funny. He had really believed it. All his life, he was given a "rule" and he lived by it, without question. How could he not believe this one? ... He looks up at Yuya and gives him a strange look. ] You're friends, but you call him "Kano"? [ isn't that backwards ]

[hippocarnival]

That's what he likes to be called. [Yuya shrugs a shoulder.] My best friend Gongenzaka is the same way, even though we've known each other for years.

[Some people are just Like That. Although, he can't say he's as close to Kano as that anyway.

He teeters back to sit, crossing his legs.] But yeah, he's my friend. Even if sometimes he has bad ideas or says things he shouldn't. And I'll be your friend, too.

[suddenlybees]

[ This older Kano is weird, Shuuya thinks to himself, and Gongenzaka is a name that's far too long to insist anybody use the full thing, too. Weird friends. But this feels weird too, the offer at being friends, because that would make Yuya his very first friend and he just sort of... wishes the circumstances weren't like this, he supposes. Yuya's done a lot to take care of him and look after him, and in return, Shuuya doesn't have anything to offer back. A friendship can't work like that, he thinks. ] I think... you can make better friends. [ Don't be friends with Kano if you want a peaceful life. ]

[hippocarnival]

I think I've made exactly the friends I want. [He smiles, warmly, breathing deep at his own sappy insistence because he's such a crybaby and maybe of he was the better friend, Kano would feel less like disappearing was a good choice he could make.

Yuya holds out his hands, palms up.] Because I'm very happy to know Kano Shuuya. I'm glad you lived so I got to meet you, and I want to make that worth it too.

[suddenlybees]

[ What a sap... But isn't that also something he's always longed to hear? "I'm glad you lived." I'm glad you're alive. I'm glad you exist. Something like that is so hard for him to believe, but it's something he wants so so badly to hear, that he feels his vision blur and the tears drop hot and wet down his cheeks before he catches himself and scrubs them off his face. Stupid, don't say things like that to him. It makes him feel happy, and hopeful, and those are such strange feelings, it hurts. ]

[hippocarnival]

[Yuya can't stop himself when Shuyya starts to cry, and he sucks in a sharp breath as tears fill in his eyes.

He leans over, reaching to gently ruffle Kano's hair, softly because Kano's mother laid her hands on him so often to hurt him and it makes Yuya's chest tight the way it startles him, and he just wants to make sure he knows this is kindness.]

[suddenlybees]

[ It's a good call, because Shuuya definitely flinches at the mere sight of a hand reaching for him, though he calms down right away when Yuya's hand settles on his head, and he leans into the touch as if physical contact is something he craves but is always too afraid of, because experience says it means pain, as much as the rational mind insists it could be otherwise. He hates it a lot. Crying, being comforted, even if he feels better for it and wants to be in the moment forever, he hates that he cries, and he hates that he needs to be comforted, and he holds his breath to try and stop it from hitching so he can stop crying and making Yuya worry and all these things he wishes he strong and competent enough to prevent. Eventually, he quiets down to hiccups and sniffles, and he pulls away from Yuya to crawl up onto the bed and lie down next to Kuroko and bury his face into her fur, sorry it's still a bit wet. ]

[hippocarnival]

[Yuya's quiet as he cries with him, because there's an ache Shuuya doesn't deserve to have to burden, and also just because Yuya's a crybaby.

Kuroko lifts her head with a soft murr, looking back as Kano before settling back down. Yuya watches from the bottom, but he doesn't move to follow. The bed's kind of cramped for that, anyway.

Instead he moves to wipe his own face before moving himself to the desk, where he's got a bag of snacks and some notes he should probably actually study.]

I'm right here if you need me. [It's the last thing he leaves Kano with if he's going to nap, because he's pretty sure little kids still need those.]

[suddenlybees]

Mm. [ He gives a soft, acknowledging hum, settling down with his eyes closed. He hates being seen as a little kid, and doesn't think that he is, but crying takes a lot of energy and emotions take a lot of energy and for the first time in a long time he feels safe and warm and tired, and so he closes his eyes. ] Thanks, Nii-chan. [ And drifts off to sleep. ]